Spooky Jobs

Spooky Jobs

Halloween is a time for guts, gore and scary stories (providing the first two are fake) as costumes are donned throughout the country in preparation for a night fuelled with monsters, chocolate and alcohol.

With Halloween upon us, kids throughout the western worlds are preparing their trick or treat costumes, whilst Derek Acorah consults with his ‘spirit guide.’ With Jack o’ Lanterns lining the streets and Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ being played out of every audio device, the veil between our world and the afterlife grows thinner which can only lead to disaster for certain jobs…


The Undertaker is no doubt a spooky character. He rises out of his coffin offering tombstones to everyone in the ring. However, whilst the wrestler may be terrifying, he is the not the undertaker we are referring to.

For those who concern themselves with the business of funeral rites, Halloween is especially spooky. Zombies are currently stealing the limelight from the other undead monsters that roam the streets with a craving for tricks and treats. Imagine the fright of a body reanimating shortly after being prepared for a funeral. At least it would be a business-ready member of the walking dead.

Whilst The Undertaker earns over million annually, the real undertakers that deal with the deceased on a daily basis earn an annual average £45k.


Definitely a job to avoid if you’re particularly squeamish, a Coroner confirms and certifies the death of a person. It may seem like an oxymoron for someone to make a living examining the dead, but that’s what these highly qualified professionals do in order to investigate suspicious deaths.

The job has an endless list of responsibilities, but during the season of witchcraft a coroner needs to take extra care. Even the most experienced coroner has no idea if the body laying on the slab is a member of the living dead soon to wake in the form of a Vampire or Zombie, curious as to why they are being cut open.

A Coroner’s annual salary is currently resting comfortably at £52k, although it requires applicants to have been a qualified lawyer, barrister or medical doctor prior to starting.

Paranormal Investigator

Halloween is a time for frights, pumpkins and hour long TV specials starring Derek Acorah. For a Paranormal Investigator, October 31st is a dangerous time as it’s the one day that the souls that still wander the world have left to take revenge.

To actually go searching for a vengeful spirit seems like a crazy prospect for both those who do and do not believe in the supernatural. Armed with a variety of gadgets from EMF Meters to Infrared Cameras, these ghostly detectives pursue proof of the afterlife.  

Unfortunately, Paranormal Investigations and Ghost Hunting is officially considered a Pseudoscience due to the existence of ghosts currently being unproven, but if anything that just makes the career more intense. After all, journeying into the unknown to try and confirm paranormal existence is how the Ghostbusters came together!

Security Guard

When things go bump in the night, the best thing to do is to send your significant other to investigate, arming them with only a phone and a can of lynx, whilst you hide under the blankets. Unless, of course, you have a baby gate and can therefore just laugh the noise off, knowing no one has the ability to get past it.

However for security guards working the night shift, they have no baby gates or significant others to check the disturbance. Their job is to check them. There are not many things spookier than hearing a smash, crash, bang or wallop during a misty Halloween night and having to investigate the aforementioned onomatopoeia instills a fear that only a Scooby Doo character has felt.

A security guard’s average salary in the UK rests at approximately £15k and the roles range from proprietary to contract – however it’s doubtful that they are provided with the garlic or silver necessary to fight back an unholy horde.

Grave Digger

Unlike the Grave Diggers appearing in Hamlet, those within this spooky line of work do not speak in riddles and are normal members of society. Armed with a trusty shovel, A grave digger must ensure that a grave is properly dug so it will fit the coffin perfectly, a skill which is currently in short supply.

When the ghosts escape from their crypts and the zombies burst from the ground, the grave diggers will be the among the first to find out, mainly because all their hard work will be destroyed. Even worse, when Halloween is over and the living dead once again become the dead, the unfortunate grave diggers will have to start all over again.

Usually referred to as groundskeepers in the present day, this job come with the responsibility of keeping the cemetery tidy and presentable earning, on average an annual salary of £17k.   


If there’s something strange in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? Probably nobody, it’s Halloween and the strange things are just kids trick or treating. However it’s nice to know that on one the spookiest of holidays, a team of ‘trained professionals’ are on hand when an invisible man is sleeping in your bed.

Whilst the Ghostbusters offer a service which has saved Manhattan from multiple paranormal attacks, they are not actually employed by the city. Simply relying on invoices through clients, paychecks could come in droves or rarely come at all through their many escapades.